Honestly, i do feel incredibly lucky nowadays.

random events in cambridge - apple tree climbing, apple picking, walking around, chinese homecooked food, celebrating guy fwakes day with a bonfire, awesome carnival, fireworks with all of their preludes and finales, the noisy and incredibly friendly hall roommates, apple-picking, sightseeing, getting expectedly lost and waiting for Kenny to find me, poker and blackjack at the corridors, night walks, learning bridge, the hall prank on that poor guy, sleeping in till Kenny manages to wake me up ;), unexpectedly yummy food and dessert served even during a late lunch, kenny cooking, cornish pastries, choc biscuits, late night talks ec. and poor Kenny totally exhausted himself entertaining me these few days laugh. cambridge was absolutely awesome. pretty glad i'm going back after a week plus! i think a formal and waltz lessons wait in store. =)

and today, went shopping at portabello market when i got back to London! loved the antique section of the freaking large market which only opens on saturday. so i was pretty lucky. totally shopped like mad and came back to Julian's apartment with bags and bags of stuff! even found a gorgeous mask from Italy! and im really glad i FINALLY found something suitable for my dad there, even.

and when i finally got home,
found a box of Krispy Kreme on the table! =p
peeked inside and saw two donuts heh.
Julian's super amazing at times.
( okay that's only provided that one of the donuts is meant for me LOL.
hopefully it is, because i have been raving about KK for ages! )
oh and brought a piece of cake and a cupcake,
from this popular bakery in Nottingham called hummingbird bakery.

actually the reason i brought stuff from the bakery was damn silly.
there was a line waiting outside the bakery,
and i was like ' wait a minute.. a line's rare here. okay it has gotta be good.'
and automatically joined the queue LOL.
oh gosh i'm such a singaporean in this sense.

laugh, it's so indescribable,
but i wouldn't trade anything, in exchange for this short period in my life.
I fell in love with London,
and then I fell in love with Cambridge.
I think I fell head over heels for England,
including its' quirks such as London's shitty weekend transportation, even,
and the people I've met here.

AHAH. this was the problem i thought i'll face in Finland.
I was kinda afraid i'll like Finland too much,
and hence never be happy in Singapore when i return after the semester.

Anyway, perhaps i'll work overseas or further my studies in UK.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
So far, i'm not ready to leave, at all.


-Lisa

got this post from Andrew Ho's blog.
i related tremendously to that post.
there's so, so much to say about this,
yet i'll claim i've nothing to say,
and leave you with his thoughts instead,
which is a lot more mature than mine at the moment.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Real Mature


At every point of life, I try my best to be the better man. The one who meets the expectation of those around me. Unfortunate for the world, in all attempts that I've tried, I failed them terribly. Why? Because contrary to popular beliefs, I am actually human like you.

Believe it.It's always easy to criticize. Life is like a huge stage, while every audience can criticise the performers on stage, most of them can't even perform one bit. To be fair, they paid for the tickets to watch the show. But in life, no one pays to see us, they just hit us all along the road.

The hardest part to accept these criticism is, sometimes they are true. If a rapist accuse another rapist of rape, is he correct? Yes he is, but is he qualified to point that out? Again, by law, yes he is and he should. But does the whole scenario sounds fair or right? Not really.

So how do we deal with social situations as such, when an idiot calls us idiots because we really are idiots. I've tried different approaches to find the best way to handle this, I can scold them back, reason it out, forget it, cut contact. But the best way really, is merely to accept it.

Does that mean we lose? Yes. We lose. We lose our dignity, we lose our face, we lose the right to get angry at people for whatever reason. But instead of focusing what we lose, there are actually gains out of it. We gain a friend, we avoided an argument, if we change, we gain respect and ultimately we become better people.

I know this is a lot to take in, and I know it's even harder to perform. But this is the part of growing up that I've learnt recently. For most of the time in the past, I am priviledge to have older friends and brothers around to accomodate to my crap. This time around, I have to accomodate others. And that my friend is real mature.

Posted by Andrew Ho at 1:31 AM 1 comments

-Lisa

sometimes the problem with socializing loads, be most superficially,
is that you see a myraid of people.
and sometimes,
you see those rare kind of people whom you've inexplicably very drawn towards.

it could be any reason,

ranging from the fact you think she's so interestingly pretty,
and that she could be such an interesting person if i could get her to open up a lil more,
to the fact you like his infectious smile and innocent attitude,
to the reason that you think he has so much to offer in intellectual conversation,
even the reason may be that you like his british accent LOL. ;)

it could be anything, really.
but the problem is that most of the time,
i know most of them on such a perfunctory note,
there simply isn't any room to get to know them better.
which is such a shame.

because once you catch a whiff,
it lingers for a moment, and then leaves.
leaving you wanting more.

i wish i could be that sort of person as well! =)
but i think it's hard because i'm too friendly most of the time. =(
no air of mystery and all. hmpt.

laugh but yes, it is interesting as well,
uncovering depths to a person, esp when you don't really expect it.
point taken, today.

-Lisa

you know..

everyone says that we should live life to the fullest,

blah blah no regrets if you die the next day and shit.



but that's simply not the person i am.

even if im aware of the possibility that the closest person i have will die the next day.

i simply will not change my words nor actions to him or her.

if i regret. so be it.

that's just the kind of stoic person i can be, sometimes.



-Lisa

i do try reallyyy hard not to judge people.
and it's pretty refreshing being on this exchange,
seeing this glimpse of this whole variety of people.
and pretty much it reinforces what i believe in.
don't ever judge.

but it's ironic that because i try so hard not to judge people,
i absolutely judge people who judge others.
i cant quite understand their mentality,
which makes it worse.

which again produces a difficult tension when the people i know and love judge others or me.
i don't know how quite to react
i accept their point of view yet it's something i completely cannot understand nor fully forgive.
it's somehow more inbuilt, so it's hard to change that in people, i know.

it occasionally aggravates the situation
because i'm not particularly forceful in trying to persuade people about my opinions,
sometimes because im concentrating on trying to understand their reasonings.
and after friends i know judge me excessively,
i simply slowly withdraw.
a very non-confrontational method which can be a bad thing at times.

well of course unwittingly i do judge people.
but i do try not to, and i do have my reasons for judging after knowing them.
so at least. =)

and i wish my dad would stop telling me that i could just not do my modules and just come back.
i'm trying so hard in my academic pursuits. =(
hoping for a little more encouragement and push instead.
ah but then again, i shouldn't hope for change,
when i don't speak out against it.

-Lisa

All knowledge is worth having.

this sentence is pushing me to drastically overload on my modules in Helsinki.
well its not that much of a chore.
( assuming i don't take this one course mediated communications
which is a crash course all in 5 days
which requires me to write an 5000 word essay at the end of the week.).
hopefully i can clear the 8 or 9 modules by the second week of november or earlier.
having a real thirst for learning nowadays.

Brian said i was handling the stress of exchange by being a typical Japanese
- by working and working.
well it's true perhaps.
but it's strangely enjoyable during the day,
with just studies, and household matters to occupy my mind.
there's no shit here such as constant worry about my grades,
no quibbles with family or close friends and an hectic social balancing act.

of course it has trade offs like everything such as no gambling
(no cards gatherings no mj no virgo),
lonely nights,
and enduring the ultra cold weather here.
but precisely because it's only till november
i think the tradeoff well worth it.
it's a refreshing change.

oh and basically all i've to do is pass so it's generally a pleasure learning in class,
particularly when it's voluntary and not because of requirements.
but of course attention capacity is at around 80% at best on average,
without the factor of fear lol.

and this post is disfragmented because my sleep cycle is totally off.

-Lisaa

sometimes,
the closer the person is,
the harder it is to forget,

and forgive.

it used to be so easy.